Tuesday, November 18, 2008

CriticWatch: At least he didn't say Goldmember

The world through the eyes of Ben Lyons


It was the stupidest thing to come out of the mouth of Ben Lyons since, well, the last stupidest thing to come out of his mouth. Somehow, I missed it. I must have been writing down something else Lyons said on At the Movies that was stupid and had to stop paying attention for a moment and I refuse to tape the show. Watching it once is more than enough for me.

Fortunately, we have Erik Childress from CriticWatch, reviewing this week's At the Movies, to pick up the slack. He describes Ben's answer to the question of what his favorite James Bond movie is. Lyons responds:

“Personally, my favorite is Goldeneye cause that’s the first one I saw in the theater. It was the first one for Pierce Brosnan. And that was also groundbreaking outside of just movies cause that’s when the first person action video game Bond franchise was launched which I wasted many hours of my childhood playing.”

Erik continues:

I’m sorry, but I thought I was watching a show called At the Movies. Since Lyons has already applied his singular video game mentality into the way he watches movies (“I just wanna see Max Payne shoot people. That’s all I want from a movie like this.”) why should we surprised that he would work in a Nintendo game into the discussion of the best Bond films during the return of the Critic’s Round-Up?

Erik also mentions the creepy old man moment when the four-man Critics RoundUp answered who each of them thought was the best Bond girl. This times, it was Mank's turn, who said he would "watch Famke Janssen eat oatmeal". Close your blinds, Famke. You might have to ask that bearded creep with the goofy voice outside your window to "calm down" himself.

In fact, Erik even recommends a drinking game based on taking a shot every time Mank tells Lyons to "calm down". That is certainly much more civilized than the alternative--drinking every time Lyons says something stupid. Even Karen Allen in Raiders of the Lost Ark would have a tough time getting through the one.

Read the entire CriticWatch - Ben Lyons Quote of the Week here.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

If Roeper had ever said anything similar, Roger Ebert would have pounced on it like a shark on blood. I can almost hear the sarcastic rejoinder...

"Yes, film historians will forever note it as the movie that introduced Richard Roeper to video games!"

Scott said...

Not only that, he would bring it up for the next three months every time they disagreed on a movie. "This is the guy who couldn't sit through 2 hours of Synecdoche, New York, but wasted his entire childhood on Goldeneye 007!"

Anonymous said...

Oh yeah! He wouldn't let that go by for a moment. Even if he thought it was a stupid gaffe or a case of clumsy phrasing or inarticulateness, he would have leapt on it.

I admit that I've said really dumb things like that in my life- stuff I realized was dumb even as I said it, stuff I'd like to hit the rewind button on- but this guy seems to have been born without the gene that tells you that you should be embarrassed.

Anonymous said...

I'm with you 100% that this guy is an idiot, but watch yourself when saying things like this: "Since Lyons has already applied his singular video game mentality into the way he watches movies (“I just wanna see Max Payne shoot people. That’s all I want from a movie like this.”) why should we surprised that he would work in a Nintendo game into the discussion of the best Bond films during the return of the Critic’s Round-Up?"

You lose a lot of your credibility when you say things like that.
1. Like it or not, video games have surpassed movies in annual revenue.
2. Only older people that are out-of-touch refer to video games as "Nintendo games".
3. There are video games that have the story and direction to surpass a LOT of films. It's not just Space Invaders and Pac Man anymore, think more along the lines of interactive movies.

To so easily dismiss an entire entertainment platform paints you as an elitist.

Scott's comments echo this point perfectly as he says "This is the guy who couldn't sit through 2 hours of Synecdoche, New York, but wasted his entire childhood on Goldeneye 007!" To the growing number of people in the civilized world, soon to be a majority, who grew up with video games, that is an elitist comment and an insult.

Why is one entertainment form better than another except within your own opinion?

Kinf of ironic for such a bigoted statement to be made on a website dedicated to pointing out someone else's stupid statements...

Anonymous said...

"1. Like it or not, video games have surpassed movies in annual revenue."

We are talking about film review.

"2. Only older people that are out-of-touch refer to video games as "Nintendo games"."

Goldeneye is a Nintendo (64) Game.

"3. There are video games that have the story and direction to surpass a LOT of films. It's not just Space Invaders and Pac Man anymore, think more along the lines of interactive movies."

Please provide relevant sources that are not mere opinion and explain why these sources make video games apt for film review.

"To so easily dismiss an entire entertainment platform paints you as an elitist."

Good night, you're stupid. The blog is dedicated to film review, and there is no reason to use video games to justify a film's quality.

"Kinf of ironic for such a bigoted statement to be made on a website dedicated to pointing out someone else's stupid statements..."

Kind of stupid for such an idiot to not realize what film critics do for a living and that the quotes are relevant because they do not add to the credibility of the reviewer.

Stuart said...

The irony re. his stupid Max Payne comments is that the game it's based on has an excess of plot, exposition, and silly film-noir-aping dialogue. And yes, the whole goddamn thing is about Payne avenging his dead wife. Lyons doesn't just want stupid movies, he wants stupid(er) games. I suppose games normally let you skip cinematics... hence Mr Lyons' ignorance.